Reyza Diannova

I could feel the tug and lag on the seat as I awkwardly coordinated steering and peddling. "I'm going to fall" I cried out nervously, just missing the pothole and wobbling dangerously close to the shoulder of the road and the ditch I feared would swallow me up. "Keep pedaling, You've got it. I'm going to let go now". "No papa.. wait." I plead. "Okay, okay, just for a little bit longer." I could hear him smiling. "Just keep pedaling" I pedaled harder and found comfort in the sound of his feet smacking the pavement as he ran along behind me, knowing he was still there, holding on. I felt the balance of my tiny self, the wheels turning over, the slight changes in the road's surface, the wind blowing through my hair, sun warming my face, the 'safe' freedom, papa still holding on. And then I heard him, "See, you're doing it all on your own" Immediately, I wobbled "What?" Realizing the tug a...

We spend a lot of time looking for the notoriously, elusive, all encompassing euphoria also known as LOVE. Would we know if we've had the love we're looking for.. what if we've already discounted it because we're so unwilling to allow it? We search for love, even when it's raining down on us - all the while wondering why we can't feel it or have it. We can't feel love when we're actually the one holding the umbrella of doubt that repels it's nourishing sweetness. Whether it comes to us in words or actions, a steady rain or a light shower.. if we cannot identify it as love, absorb it and allow it to soak in, we will always feel that love is eluding us. Receiving love depends greatly on whether or not you BELIEVE you are LOVABLE. If you don't believe you are lovable, you will never be able to receive LOVE because you won't feel worthy of having it. It's ironic.. we seek others to give us the love that we are so unwilling to give ourselv...

I'm such a lover.. you heard me right! I'm just saying I am SO NOT a fighter.. but that's not to say that I can't or haven't pulled out the ammo when I thought I needed to and if you asked my love.. he'd tell you that I am damn good at it and.. well so is he. Let's just say a fight is pretty difficult to have by yourself, although it might make for great TV. When two people decide to enter the battle field - they do not enter it as a loving duo. No, they leave the sweetness behind and don the gloves of ego and pride! They begin to listen with the ears of defense and answer with the lips of offense.. each standing on their own ground trying to impose 'their way' of thinking or being on the other. We've all been there at some point in our lives, protecting our pride at all costs - Our ego stands firm at our post and holds the line! The victory.. tear streaked cheeks and the feeling that you can't make the other person happy or understand yo...

We are here to do and be what we love. Yet, we place our dreams, the things we love somewhere in the not so distant future, hoping for the time when somehow we'll have worked hard enough, long enough, made enough money to propel ourselves toward doing what we love. We make excuses, sighting lack of time, finances etc. as reasons to keep our passions on hold indefinitely. Well, the truth is.. You will never have more time than you do right now. Whether it's your full-time job or a simple hobby you'll only spend a few minutes doing each day ~ Doing what you love is what you're here to do and it doesn't take large blocks of time, planning or finances to reap the reward your spirit will feel when you're doing it ~ the loving of it, is the reward. Even the smallest amount of time spent doing what you love, gives you boosts of joy and sparks your zest for life ~ giving you a lighter step at work, enlivening your romance and rejuvenating your life. Doing something ...

My intention with this blog is to talk about things important to me and share some of what I have learned from mistakes, negative life experiences as well as good choices and positive experiences. I want to share life with whoever would like to share theirs. This is my first blog so if it isn’t perfect that’s ok. Bear with me and we can learn together from and with each other. I am just a person like you looking for meaning and purpose in a chaotic world. I chose lemons as my topic because no matter how hard we try to make our lives what we want somehow lemons show up. We all get lemons at some time or another in life, right? Some lemons suck more than others, but no matter how you cut them they are still lemons (fruit you didn't intend to harvest in life). What matters isn't the exact kind of lemon you get or how big or sour it is compared to someone else’s (it is what we choose to do with that lemon that creates meaning in our life). What can we do with the lemons ...

Mama's crews positioned me to sit on the studio’s couch last night, put a microphone up my shirt, and pointed the two cameras at me. Tito, behind camera One, gave me the instruction, “Mrs. Arsya, I want you to start by looking directly into my camera. Then half way through your twenty minutes, I want you to look at camera Two, and right before you are ready to wrap it up, I want you to look back at camera One. When you are done, look directly into the camera and smile for five seconds. OK? Ready?” Ready, are you shittin’ me? Crap! Can I really do this? All I knew in that moment, was that there was no WAY IN HELL, I was going to remember to switch cameras, and that there was no way I had twenty minutes of material to talk about. But, I also knew, and I could not deny, that I was here because I had invited myself, and it was MY time, right NOW (both literally and metaphysically)! I took a deep, deep breath, looked into camera One and out came, "Hello, my name is Rey Dia...

If you're on Twitter, you may have noted tips to authors on how to best utilize the tweeting experience. Guess what? Twitter is great for us readers, too. When I first started, I followed a few friends that I knew were on. Then I got adventurous and looked for a few 'famous' people and followed them. I really didn't say much, but it was fun kind of eaves-dropping on the rich and famous. Then I started following some of the authors I read. And it all exploded into a really neat experience. It started really with only two authors. And I started conversations with them -- letting them know I enjoyed their last book, or something along those lines, and following their conversations with other writers, who I would then follow, which led me to even more -- many of whom I'd never heard of before. Talking with these men and women led me to looking for their books and, in many cases, purchasing one or two. Which, in turn, led to more "Wow! I really loved your book!...

Mama told me, "Every writer has their own preferred methods to prep for a book and how they go about the actual writing. No one way is right or wrong. Authors must use whatever style works best for them in order to be able to complete a fabulous story. Be creative, polish the content, clean up errors but the most important thing is to give the reader what they want – to be entertained! Top priority when preparing for a book: How can you emotionally engage and provide maximum entertainment to your readers?" As ideas for a story pop into my head, I write them down. Depending on where I'm at, I might use scratch paper or a notebook. All the preliminary thoughts and brainstorming are written on paper, not typed in the computer. In fact, the entire outline is normally scribbled into a notebook, tending to look like a pen exploded on every page from my constant revisions. I've described my outlines as looking like chicken scratch or a jigsaw puzzle. I did type one outli...

Dearest My Hubby Arsya, If I have not told you lately, let me remind you, that you, my love, are the best thing that has ever happened to me. The day that we became a couple, the world was transformed into a great big ball of happiness. My life became more beautiful, and no, it is not cliché. It is a fact. If anyone were to look back through the archives of my life, they would see that it has changed tremendously. The sun shines a little brighter. The world seems a little nicer. The grass is a little greener. Music sounds a little sweeter. Smiles come a little easier. Days seem a little shorter. At the end of each day, as we lay in bed, I never want to go to sleep, because I know that the next morning when I wake up you will be gone. Yes, you will only be at work, but I miss you! You have been my best friend for three years now, and I cannot even tell you how much you have changed my life. Although, something tells me that you know, and yet, you say not a thing. Instead, you co...

I love spending my spare time here. I have read my mama's blog and there're many things about us "Brother Ozy, Me and Athree" that she published on hers. And Of course I'm so interested in reposting her writing about me which was written down on here on the 4th November 2011 :D Reynova is 21! Twenty one years ago today Reynova was born at 3:18 pm in Jakarta, Indonesia. She made me a mother. She was my only baby born au naturale. * Reynova is energy and passion.  She works incredibly hard at everything she does, including practicing the piano and violin FOUR HOURS A DAY. She makes very beautiful music!  * Reynova is one-of-a-kind.  She is a gal of many talents including the ability to levitate a peanut M&M. * Reynova is goodness, exactness, and love. The VERY COOL thing about this birthday is that I am exactly twice as old as Reynova. I am 42. She is 21. This will not happen ever again for her and I so we are relishing our special year. My swee...

16 years ago, I stepped into the living room to watch my amazing brother dance. My brother had some very cool moves when he was little. He used to move his feet and shoulders just like Michael Jackson and my whole family loved to watch! However, to my surprise, one day, he looked up at me with his big black eyes and in a squeaky little voice he said, “Awe! Sister is here. Get out of here, sister! I’m not dancing for you!” To this day, it makes me laugh just thinking about it. He hadn't quite learned how to pronounce his “R’s”, and yes, it was a little mean, but he was just the cutest kid ever and I loved him. I was the second girl in the family and for some reason I was his target. My brother did not have a little-er brother to pick on, so he chose me. For many years, he did not want much to do with his "sister". He did not let me watch him dance and he did not dance along with me, like some of my other brothers did. He usually kept his distance. He did his own thing...

Today I can say I am a happier person than I’ve ever been before. That is not a comment I make lightly. It has taken me a lot of time and practice to get to this point. I have had to make changes that at times have been painful. There is no concrete formula for happiness, but I want to share some of the things I have learned along my journey. The first thing I want to share is an absolute truth. It is this: Nobody can make you happy. Only you can make you happy. People can add to, or take away from, your happiness, but ultimately relying on another person to change your mental state is folly. The next truth I’ve learned is that I am enough. Like most mother’s I put a lot of pressure on myself to live some sort of imaginary life where I am superwoman and everything is hunky dory. What I’ve come to realize, and remind myself of when I forget, is that people aren’t going to love me less because I am not superwoman. I am loved because I am me, with all my flaws. People are much more inte...

Each morning before my husband leaves to work, he kisses me on the cheek. Even though it is the sweetest thing ever, this has been something that I have had to get used to. I am not a morning person and he would gladly vouch for that! I have trouble falling asleep and my best sleep, my deepest sleep, usually happens in the early morning hours between 2-6 am. When he kisses me, I usually have another hour or so that I can sleep before I have to get up with Dianarsya, but most often than not, that kiss usually wakes me up. I cannot fall back asleep, so I lay in bed alone, (because he has already rushed out the door for the day,) thinking about sending him a grumpy text how nice one more hour of sleep would have been. He does know it wakes me up, so he kisses me gently, but I still wake up. He of course, would stop it all together if I wanted, but I really don't! All of the kisses, the hugs, and the routine affection help to keep us passionate. It is something that I do not want us...

Although after 7 years, she feels more like a biological sister! We have shared with each other the ups and downs of life. We have experienced highs and lows with each other. I have laughed with her, cried with her and relied on her more than I can count. She has been my friend. One of my best friends for half of her life! There has been a lot of: crafting, shopping, meal sharing, diaper changing, "are you thinking what I'm thinking" glancing, chocolate indulging, secret telling, note writing, creating, exercising, parent advising, relationship relating, telephone conversating, photo taking, silence breaking, apologizing, news relaying, memory making, gift exchanging, hug offering, idea giving, outfit complimenting, tear wiping, nonsensical giggling spiritual growing, recipe sharing, dream expressing, confiding, and life celebrating moments! I look forward to making more!!

Oh yes, Sunshine! We have all been there. At one point in time when our husband offers to help us with something, but the minute he does, we want him to do it differently. Maybe he did not strain the grease from the meat before adding the pasta sauce, or maybe he is not folding the towels exactly the way you want him to, but don't complain. I repeat do not complain.This is a tough one. We women tend to have a method to our madness. We do things a certain way and we begin to think that our way is the best way. The truth is that our way is not better, it is just different. I've seen many women criticize their men when they are trying to help, instead of just appreciating the fact that he is helping. Watching others has made me aware of this issue. Each day, I make a conscious effort to appreciate my husband for his efforts. We all should. Instead of focusing on how your man is doing it, focus on why he is doing it. Our men pitch in and help, because they love us! So tomorrow...

Close your eyes and think about your life and your day-to-day routines. Think of all the things your spouse helps you with and does for your family and in your household. Think of all the times you have had a horrible day and your spouse was there to comfort you and cheer you up. A few weeks ago when I was sick, my husband, was actually excited to take care of me. He left work early, ran to the store to buy some vegetables and made me homemade soup. Even if it had not tasted amazing, I would have still been so grateful that he wanted to make me feel better. Can you imagine how different it would be if your husband wasn't in your life? I can’t either! In fact, my eyes tear up just at the thought, so I tell him! I tell him that he means so much to me and not only is he in my world, but he is my world. Happy Wednesday Sunshine. Have a wonderful day! ^_^

On the 11th Nov 1999 my mama wrote this letter Dear My Sweet Reynova, Oh, how I want to teach you so many things.…………I want to teach you that it is important to create a relationship with God and keep it……Always remember that you have a family that adores you and a God that will never turn his back on you………..Remember to pray about everything. I know we have a tendency to pray only when things go wrong, but remember to pray and thank God for the good in your life too. Keep a bible next to your bed, on the kitchen table or even in the bathroom. Keep it someplace that you will see it every day to remind yourself what you should aspire to be……..Try to make friends that have the same values as you.....choose wisely......Do not judge people for their mistakes, love them, help them and learn from them……..Be an honest and kind person. Always think before you speak. Speak your opinion when necessary, but always do it with kindness…….I wish so much for you! Every night when I feel you kicki...

The other day, as we were riding in the car, I told my baby that every time I see a Fairy Miniature, I think of her. My little cousin Aisyah laughed and repeated what I said to her niece, “Did you hear that Dianarsya? Every time your mom sees a Fairy miniature she thinks of you." And Dianarsya said, "Well, that's okay, because she thinks of me every minute of every day.”  I could not help but laugh. My baby Dianarsya who knows how much I love her, is still constantly seeking love, attention and approval. Each day as Dianarsya and I pick up Aisyah from school, I see a half a dozen children get picked up for a local group home. I can see them standing in line with each other joking, laughing, smiling and waiting. And I wonder…Are they smiling on the inside? They are not waiting for a parent to pick them up like most children.  They are not going to jump in their family car. They are not going home to do homework with siblings. They are not going home to eat a snack tha...

On the 8th March was Women's International Day! Strangely, for the first time in my life, I find myself paying attention to this. I was raised in a family where women are considered free and independent. I was very proud of that, when comparing my mother's life and my own to that of other women in this country. Mama was allowed to work, she had her car, was always wearing nice fancy clothes, had friends and a social life "with papa". That seemed for me just perfect. Mama's the owner of KUMON and worked full time across the street. Her day started at 6:00 am, and ended at midnight. Apart from her job, she had to do housework, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, children's homework, and receiving visitors. She never complained, and used to jump on her feet ready to serve my papa before even listening to what he had to ask for. At the age of 7, I was considered old enough to help. Housework was considered more important than studying. I was too small to reac...

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail. Yes I would. If I only could, I surely would. I'd rather be a hammer than a nail Yes I would. If I only could, I surely would. CHORUS Away, I'd rather sail away Like a swan that's here and gone A man gets tied up to the ground He gives the world Its saddest sound, Its saddest sound. I'd rather be a forest than a street. Yes I would. If I only could, I surely would. I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet, Yes I would. If I only could, I surely would. (Paul Simon/Jorge Milchberg) Every morning while driving my baby Dianarsya to my parents house, one of the songs I listen to stays in my head, and can transport me to my Dreamland. My dreamland is not limited by space nor time, it is a mixture of everything, reality, past, future and hopes. This song above took me back to that little girl I was, who seemed wise for a few and weird for many others. Adults ask children standar...

Have you ever wished you could travel back in time? After being so deeply connected to my dear departed Great-Aunt yesterday through the fragrance of roses, it got me thinking about the number of times a smell or an odour has transported me to another time or place. Scent can be a powerful memory trigger. No need for a fancy device to take you places. Sense of smell is a tool I often use in my creative writing to help make my imagined world more real and three-dimensional. The smell of the ocean – that good, clean briny smell – always relaxes me and makes me happy. It reminds me of my grandfather, who often took us sailing. The smell of spicy rum reminds me of him too. Lavender reminds me of my Grandma. When I was little and couldn’t sleep she would sprinkle a little lavender water on my pillow, and give me some on a hanky as well. Even now, when I have trouble sleeping, I reach for the lavender oil and am reminded of my Grandma’s love and kindness. Lavender also reminds me of fa...

What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~ Eleanor Powell I have never met anyone who wasn’t unique in some way, who didn’t have a special gift to share with the world. The problem is that most people don’t acknowledge their gifts because they are always the things that come naturally and easily, even if we get better at them with practice. We live in a society that crazily seems to prize two things above all others: hard work to get somewhere, or money for nothing. I’m not talking about either of those. I’m talking about the essence of your soul, the thing you ARE. And we catch glimpses of it from the moment of our birth. I’ll give you some examples, and maybe you’ll start to understand what I mean… My Grandmother had a gift for listening. When you spoke with her you knew she truly heard you, and acknowledged what you were saying and feeling. She was trustworthy and wise, and she helped many people through this gift. She never had a job or a career, and...

Okay, so I’m a psychic . No secret there. It’s an odd thing to be in our mostly rational and scientific world, but I’ve come to accept who I am and I live in a way that honours this energy within me. Does it define me? Sometimes. But I am also more than this particular skillset – and I certainly don’t foist my abilities on the unsuspecting. If people need me, I trust that they will come to me. I can’t turn off this flow of psychic information, but I have learned to manage it, so that most of the time it is just background noise. That’s why yesterday rattled my cage a little. During a break I went to a local cafe. It was quiet and I was the only patron. After a while a mother and father entered, with their baby in a pram. The parents were tired and fractious. I looked up only to see who had come into the room, and then went back to my pot of chai and my book. Suddenly I had the feeling of being stared at. I looked up, and into the intense blue eyes of a young baby boy sitting ...

If you date men or women long past the point when you are still exploring whether or not she or he is your ideal match, take heart! You are in the vast majority of people around the world. This phenomenon is not regional, generational, or related to education, or socioeconomic circumstances. Being willing or able to recognize that someone is a good match or not a good match for you, and stop dating him or her, seems to be a universal dilemma. Here are my Dating Basic: a. Dating is a process and you are dating to find your ideal match. b. Recognizing that the men and women you are dating are not a match for you is the point of the dating process. c. It is highly likely that you will date a number of people who will not be your ideal match and that many of the people you are dating will recognize that you are not their ideal match. d. Ending the dating process is the only next logical step to take if we agree that the point of dating is to find our ideal mate. Let me tell you a...

For many years, the month of March has been characterized by severe depression. Although it's not something I usually discuss, it was obvious to everyone around. I have decided now to welcome March with Love instead of anxiety. Why worry about it before knowing what it will bring? Hello March, I'm ready! Today is Her birthday. Today she will be 22. I have been waiting for this date since last year. I wanted it to be special. When she ended our friendship in June, I never thought that it would be for good, that she had made up her mind. Our friendship was so strong, I couldn't believe it was over. Her decision caused me a lot of pain, her hurtful messages kept coming regularly for more than two months. I suffered, cried, got angry, frustrated. I begged and asked for forgiveness for whatever i might have done, but nothing would bring her back. I felt empty, abandoned and lonely. I felt betrayed. How could she abandon me while knowing what i am going through? This question ...